Parade of the Trolls
By Pat Racimora on July 26, 2008 at 2:40 PM in Bloggers, Freedom of Speech, Trolls
What I love best about No Quarter is the smart, lively debate about issues of critical concern, the colorful and flamboyant language that is often enough wildly clever and can be knee-slapping funny, and the fact that it does not shut out visitors simply for disagreeing with each other or the author of the post. (Some current blogs—including larger ones–only allow comments that support their agenda.)
But, beware of Trolls who can ruin the party. Trolls have been around since the Internet began, sort of like how maggots emerge from good fruit. The usual definition is someone who has no real interest in lively debate but rather aims to sabotage the post by making irrelevant, often inflammatory diatribes that disrupt the communication process.
The Obama Trolls are out in full force, and it remains inconceivable that the campaign has not attempted to spray them with a pesticide. On the contrary, the Obama campaign actually hired 400 of them to engage, we presume, in disruptive folly, usually to take the story messages way off track and turn the post into an adolescent food fight instead of a place where vigorous but substantive debate thrives.
There are several types of trolls, which I summarize for your possible edification.
1. “Onramp Hog,” the Hijacker Troll. This spiteful little menace lurks around for a new blog entry and then makes the first comment without even bothering to read the post. The missive is always off-topic, or it is inflammatory or provocative and totally unrelated to the purpose of the main story. This piggy hijacks the post because others immediately react to Onramp Hogs’ bait and interest is diverted away from the original authors’ efforts. It is often difficult or impossible to bring the discussion back on track again. Onramp Hogs probably have no life.
2. “Snot” the Mucilage Troll. Snot is posting Obama talking points wherever it can stick them. Whether the subject of the original post is relevant is immaterial to Snot. Snot probably gets paid for every time it does its blow job.
3. “Alligator Tears,” the Concern Troll who plays like it is on your side, but attempts to persuade readers by pretending to share their goals. This dainty nuisance may take a while to spot, but true colors emerge as the discussion begins to shift. It hates being called out, and quickly disappears once its ruse is discovered. Alligator Tears are usually just annoying, like a “noseeum” that gets in your face at picnics.
4. “Anchovy” the Bait Troll. Anchovy purposely sets people off with an emotional or inflammatory post. This slimy little fish is easy to spot, but sometimes difficult to resist because its comments are so profane or inflammatory. Anchovy Troll needs an outlet and is probably seriously constipated.
5. “Leak” the Mole Troll. You won’t see this lurker because it doesn’t stick its head out, but it is reporting back to the opposition’s camp. Remember, the Internet is a vast highway far wider that the lane you are driving in, so anything you say can get back to the source.
6. “Masturbator” the Sock Puppet Troll. Masturbator uses pseudonyms to add friendly comments to its own blog comments and rises to the defense of the itself, pick fights with those who disagree with it (and sometimes with itself), and frequently praises the brilliance of itself. Masturbator is not getting laid in real life, hence the substitute activity.
7. “Junker” the Spamming Troll. Junker inserts its own agenda into posts, usually irrelevant to the original post. Junker would probably be an Onramp Hog if it could get in as the first post, but is content to insert its irrelevancies anywhere in the thread.
8. “Outhouse” the ID Troll. Outhouse “outs” other bloggers (sometimes also members of their families) by revealing their true identities in malicious ways. Because this can cause real harm to real people, Outhouse may get into legal trouble. Outhouse is a piece of shit. (Can you tell that I have been hit by one of these menaces who, itself, hides behind a pseudonym on Daily Kos? Fortunately my boss is very understanding.)
9. “Snatch” the Identity-Snapping Troll (Pictured above). Uses other real people’s names to embarrass or misrepresent their views. This exceptionally nasty practice can only be attributed to a ruthless coward. Legal action is warranted. You wouldn’t want to know a Snatch in real life.
Best to never feed a troll.
Off Topic: Breaking..
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/07/26/police-prepare-for-thousands-of-protesters-at-denver-convention/
aw shucks, no crap cannons in Denver, damn.
I say we all chip in and rent one.
Besides brown shirts - they will have brown pants.
Young people don’t appreciate color coordination …
that still cracks me up!
Can I go off topic a second?
I wrote to President Bush about o’s trip and actions during it. I appealed to his vanity by saying bo was trying to usurp his power. Hope it gets read.
Give the little runts No Quarter!
lol RIGHT ON! NO QTR!
also
Pat I love the maggot/apple analogy! HAHA! And I’d LOVE to FEED SNATCH to your TROLL PICTURED!!
ewwwwww vewwy skewwy!
Masturbator’s?? Sock Puppets, ha ha. They must be very clever trolls if they can type and masturbate at the same time!! what are they using..there tongue?
I know you trolls are out there, because I can smell you..Your scent is strong because I can sniff you from over the pond..Enlighten me please, tell us about your troll techniques..well the ones that we don’t know.
That was funny Pat, give me a right chuckle it did!!
I think we’ve all seen masturbating sock puppets LOL ;D
Just don’t let them touch your key boar ;(
It would be nice if once in a while these trolls would take a break long enough to take a good look at their candidate and realize what a nightmare he actually is. What kind of a jerk would rather work out than to visit wounded solider’s? Obama is definitely not Presidential material. His ego does not allow him to care for anyone else. I read yesterday in a magazine that did an interview with Obama and he stated that he does not give his children Christmas or birthday presents that put him below ameba status in my book. Go away Obama and stay away. We do not want you for President so just go away, far, far away and stay there.
I doubt if most these trolls gives a rats a$$ one way or the other about obama, they just enjoy the attention they get from taking the negative position. Yes, there are the paid trolls but they are still just trolls with a little extra cash. The true obama worshippers seem to spend most of their time with other worshippers talking about how glorious the world will be when The One and his glorious family occupy the Whitehouse.
And the true Obama worshippers probably, like, all sound like, you know, Valley girls.
Wouldn’t that rule them out as trolls? Isn’t part of the condition a total lack of regard for fact and/or logic? I thought that they just repeated louder and more crudely their narrow little conscripted opinions.
He has to be the biggest jerk in the world. I know,many jewes friends who have christmas tree, prezents for their children, because they don’t want their children feel, they are differit from other children.We have to teach our children, even people has differit religion, we have to respect everyeach of them.No any differents for me, Chines holiday, Jewes, Columbian, Haitian,etc. Christmas became like one international holiday, it is special for ewverybody.As a parent, how can you not pe happy of your child birth,evey day, as long as you live.
Don’t feed the trolls!
My momma taught me that dawgs can bite the hand that feeds them.
No, thank you.
Did she have anything to say about PUMAs?
Oh, and LOL at the cartoon…!
The trolls all have Mind Blindness if they honestly think Obama is POTUS material. Blind, Blind blind and in severe denial.
Can’t make someone like Obama qualified since he is so not qualified, just because the trollbot or DNC says so.
It is exactly what the republicans did with George Bush. Inexperience makes for a HORRIFIC, HORRIBLE DANGEROUS president no matter what political party poses him.
Country before Party Loyalty
PUMA!
AGREE!
OBAMA - GWB with a left twist (well maybe since we never know which way he’s going to flip-flop)
[ADMINISTRATOR NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE REAL PATRACIMORA. THIS IS AN IMPOSTER. ORDINARILY, I WOULD DELETE THIS COMMENT, BUT IT IS VITAL THAT YOU SEE THAT THIS IS NOT THE REAL PATRACIMORA -- THIS SAME PERSON ALSO POSTED AS STEVE DIAMOND!]
roseeriter,
I know what you mean. At work here I have to deal with many unqualfied blacks who have a chip on their shoulder because they can’t perform at a high level and yet feel that other whites and I are responsible for their mental and performance deficit.
After I explained this to one of the blacks she snitched about me behind my back to our Human Resources manager.
The joke was on her ’cause we found a way to get rid of her. Now the remaining blacks are crossing their t’s and dotting their i’s religiously now
Now I have a visual for the trolls - gracias Pat!
And a great article as well. I’ll keep this as my reference guide and try to properly identify troll types in the future.
This post was right on target. The last few days have been a little bit depressing. Not only has there been an increase in the number, but when the regualars here respond in a similiar manner, it could harm our cause. I think the most dangerous trolls in terms of doing the most damage are the ones who pretend to be friendly to our cause, the “Alligator Tears” catagory because they are the most difficult to spot. Pat, there may be another kind not named in this post.
I am thinking of the troll who brings extreme right wing arguments to this blog in the name of supporting PUMA and noquarter efforts to achieve our goals. These trolls aways say if not Hillary, then McCain.
Personally, I have signed the Puma, I Own My Vote pledges and if Hillary is not the nominee, I will vote for McCain. However, that by no means is an endorsement of McCain policies and, certialnly, the policies of George Bush/Dick Cheney. I won’t drink anyone’s koolaid. I will never accept the war in Iraq as a good thing or any position supporting the expansion of our influence in the Middle East. I will never rationalize anything the Bush administration has done with illegal wiretapping, torture, Guantanamo Bay or the Military Comissions Act.
No one here needs any reason to comprimise or justify voting for McCain other than those issues reguarding Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party. I don’t believe Obama is a Muslim or Hitler incarnate and I don’t need anything that extreme to present my case as to why he shouldn’t be POTUS or why the Party should be allowed to do what it has done.
It is disturbing to read what a troll has written and understand it is best to scroll past without answering. If it is impossible to resist, why not respond with a face about Obama and nothing else?
I like the picture…
I would tell you all if I had not been rendered invisable…sigh!
Sounds like a collectible set–such as “Garbage Pail Kids.” (A free card in every Happy Meal!)
Knotfourhymn, LOL!
I was actually going to make visuals of each one of them, instead of only “Snatch,” because I can “see” them all in my right brain. But I am not sure that they would all be fit to print! : )
YOU should do it! I’d buy a set of TROLL cards!! I would! We play a lot of cards around here!
I have a set of traitor republican cards (sorry Reps4Hillary) my daughter put them in my stocking last Xmas.
Guess who the Ace of Spades is?
WE WANT TO SEE THEM, PLEASE!
Hey there everyone! I LOVE the classifying in the post…haha! Outhouse! Masturbator Sock Puppet! How about one for the trolls that put a misleading link for ya’? (Like to get more hits?) Jerk comes to mind.
There is actually a OP-ED at the Political Machine who refers to one of his pet bloggers as his “sock puppet” This “sock puppet” goes around and attacks all the anti Obama bloggers. At times has turned threatening to us. So maybe the “sock puppet” and the OP-ED person are one and the same…they both share the same first name.
Yo Pat: You should trademark those names. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen definitions for the different types of maggots that “don’t have a life”
and just fly in to destroy discussion.
Maybe we should call them by “your” names when one pops its head on a post. Don’t comment on their comments, just type in their “name”. Maybe you have come up with the RAID for trolls, let’s spray the next one we see and see what happens. Spray them with one of Pat’s name for them.
Hey everyone, pass this link to your mailing lists so they can start using Pat’s names on blogs that the maggots attack.
I really like this idea. Instead of replying to them, we just reply with their type and see if others agree.
If you talk “around” them it makes them go postal! Most leave but some drop slander bombs all over the place THEN get bounced for breaking the site rules.
(ok so in case there is ONE person that doesn’t already KNOW this)
lmao doh
On bo blogs, we are the trolls.
For example, I posted at TPM:
“Meet his brother”:
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/07/meet-his-brother.php
And a wanker countered with this:
“Gotalife Says That Democrats Should Have Nominated Senator Clinton Because There Are No Muslims In Her Family. Is That Your Kind Of America?”
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/07/gotalife-says-that-democrats-s.php
wow - got a life! I finally meet you! Barky’s agents HATE you!
I read TPM on occasion when they have a scoop, but I never post. That’s where all the kookies started the MIDDLE NAME HUSSEIN thing. Like when the Black muslims call them selves X.
This list of troll types is humorous (and I am glad for the humor), but these trolls and their counterparts at the so-called left blogs have done enormous damage to the Democratic party and the liberal agenda.
In their zeal for self-righteousness, the trolls have stifled debate — debate that should have informed even the trolls that their candidate Obama has little interest in liberal issues such as health care, reproduction rights, gay marriage, ending Iraq, protection of civil liberties (as in FISA), gun control, and so on. All Obama cares about is Obama and power.
In their zeal for self-righteousness, the trolls have further divided the left side of the political spectrum in America to the point that it will have a difficult if not impossible time standing up to the oppressive policies of the right wing.
For me, there is one type of troll: left-wing authoritarian (which in terms of tactics is indistinguishable from right-wing authoritarians).
I’m glad you said that because I was just going to say after 4 yrs, every day, at the dnc blog, we had the same 3 or 4 trolls (we assumed were paid republican trolls).
Some double teamed
One thought he was about 10 different personalities (no lie) I think he’s been tracked down by now. I hope.
they sound absolutely identical to the asswipes over there
I am BETTING there are still trolls showing up at left wing sites pissing them off to no end over US (PUMAs & Repugs).
I have no doubt. So I have gotten pretty good at just ignoring them. Who has time to read every damn post on every thread anyway???? Not even me! And you all know my deal.
TROLLS just need to ESAD.
A while back, a site owner tracked the troll flamers and found many to be from a mental hospital. Another site owner found many to have the extension of .edu in the URL.
How about PRISON???
Inmates get all kinds of Library time don’t they?
I tell you what I have noticed with the trolls, they have a way of LEECHING onto someone. When someone adds a comment, they can follow that particular person right down the thread.
LEECHERS can drain your blood if we are not careful. They live in the bog and marshy areas and can cling onto you. I think I will have to find my anti-leecher, shark proof jump-suit.
Yes, they latch onto a poster and won’t let go. They are like the Tick picture on this thread. They will even go upstairs to find you. LOL
I always imagine a troll has Orange Kool-Aid stained
lips.
LOL
maybe the trolls here
he has CHAPPED Orange Kool-Aid stained lips… and a snot-nose…
Purple lips…..like their leader his ONENESS
Amen to this timely post. Thank YOU!
Let me add # 10. Race Baiter/Sexual Orientation </strong>Baiter. Condecending in attitude and holier-than thou stance that is placed in the context of a question. Never fails to mention your typos. Insults and criticizes your posts. Insults hurled without understanding the flow of the evolving thread. Enjoys abusing posters and lives a life of one-ups-manship. Probably was abused themselves but had no witness to the abuse to pvalidate them or their experience as being real. Lives to invalidate bloggers in order to level the playing field for what they experienced when they were abused. Usually searches the individual posts to see which one will be the best for a drive by shooting. Has no qualms with hurling ageist insults but will call posters names like “homophobic and racist” even if the posters are gay or AA. This troll type is probably a college kid who is still living on their parents dime and never had to work a day in their life. They think they know best. Gets their jollies off of upsetting others. Projects anger for parents onto perceived “elderly” bloggers.
The only way to shut them up is to pull the wool from their eyes. Rip their face off and hang their assumptions out to dry. Then leave them blogging all alone.
“Now voters will judge whether living in a foreign country at the age of 10 prepares one to face the big, complex international challenges the next president will face. I think we need a president with more experience than that.” -~Hillary Clinton(MSNBC’s “Hardball,” 11/21/07)
We need to add the CHICKEN TROLL, the one who fades away when the Troll Killers are on their scent! There are some bloggers who Trolls will not engage, no matter what, once they know they’ve been scented!
Oh and the Hit and Run Troll, the one that hits and runs, and is sort-of a Chicken Troll, but these are one-time Charlie posters.
Oh, and the ASSHAT Troll. This is a troll that has its head up the Campaign’s A55, and lurks around those whack sites, like HuffPo and KOS and other hate sites, and waits for instructions to go invade blogs critical of the Jedi Mind Master, at which points they pull their heads out of each others @55es and come over and swarm, at which time they take on the personas as listed above. So technically, their bot-type is A55HAT.
And the FOREIGN troll. Like the British one who loves to call everyone who doesn’t support Obama a “racist, sheet-wearing MO-FO”. Like the British don’t have enough issues in their own country that they have to meddle in ours.
No room to talk in the UK. They are having major issues with immigrants. And they don’t seem to like them, oddly enough.
New game — identify the troll —
On some deep level these trolls must know that something isn’t right with their messiah — that’s why many/most/all are so nasty.
Often cult members violently object to being pulled out of their no-thinking bliss state — into reality.
oops trolls..ready set go..get my typos
Good posting but I hope I’m not a Hog Troll, I sometimes post stuff, in the latest Blog,because I think its a must read.I miss Hillary, and would like to see her and the SD’s get together at the convention. I’m a Hillary supporter, so don’t mistake me for a troll…
I love the Clinton’s always Have and Always will
I never got the impression that you were a hog troll Pew.
Thanks tea mug, I’m spreading the words, faster than you can post the blogs.lol I post lots over at fox,and I think I’ve hit a couple of stock sites. lol… You gotta put information out in the stock markets,thats where the money and people are,
I agree about not engaging them. I have come into a conversation late and seen most of it was response to a troll.
I only respond to point them out or if I have a quick indisputable fact to shut them down. Most often I ignore them because what they say is too ignorant or vile to reply to even with a fact. They aren’t worth my time and energy.
What is effective is to “respond” to them by having the conversation with another pro-Democrat (versus pro-oblowme type). In that way you have the satisfaction of answering their annoying little “questions” without engaging with them directly. No chance of catching anything.
But none of this answers the basic question of why the heck do they bother? No one here is going to be persuaded that he is anything other than a poser with no good side ….
beebop, why do they bother? May be because when we respond in like manner, we bring ourselves to their level and they can point to us to prove their arguments. If they can turn this site and other Hillary blogs into swamps, it will discourage input by new people and cause some to leave in disgust.
Oh-may I add this: Trolls are deathly afraid and confused of PUMAS and try to minimize PUMAS strength and their own fear of of it.
It’s called “puma denial,” hence the republican accusation.
Pumas eat trolls and turn them back to fertilizer.
A simple process as most of them are fertilizer to start with (at least between the ears).
There are also a lot of look-ma-no-hands trolls about.
lol i can’t imagine
Wouldn’t it be lovely to be able to superimpose a stamp with those names over the post of a troll, so that people coming late to the conversation could clearly see them coming?
The bright spot about the many trolls we see here is this–it demonstrates that “Camp Obama” is very, very, FRIGHTENED.
As well they should be. You don’t STEAL and not expect consequences in a civilized society.
and you know what
stealing is too easy a word
the retards GAVE them UP!
(I apologize to the mentally challenged)
The trolls have gone over to the McCain site and are increasingly frustrated with the insult filters over there, that they end up accusing McCain of not being technologically savvy.
OBAMA-The very high tax candidate.
Ben Stein On Barack Obama’s Economic Plan: “Mr. Obama could become president and derail everything because his understanding of economics is 100 percent wrong. … I must say I’m so scared about Mr. Obama becoming president. I can hardly tell you.” (CNBC’s “Kudlow & Company,” 2/14/08)
I’m not defending Obama in any way but economics is mostly smoke and mirrors anyway, much like Oblahblah himself. As a scientist, I find it pretty much a joke.
I have to tell you that I personally feel that he is so indebted to special interests that if it came to a decision that would benefit a vested interest versus the American people, he’d sell us out. Just saw him sell out wounded soldiers. The name has no soul.
That was the last straw for me.
Economics is a science where 90% of the data is either not what it looks like or simply hidden from you.
I beg to differ. Chemistry is a science. Economics is more like prognostication.
Truman said he wanted to find a one-armed Economist, so that the guy couldn’t say, “On the other hand…”
lol, That Truman was a pithy guy.
No way, I just came back from a brief visit to Crooks and Liars (don’t give them hits) to check comment traffic. And I saw a diary on Mccain bitching about that very issue. McCain not being technologcally savy. It had a photoshopped pic of JM with an older cell phone strapped to his head. Sad how C&L seems to be taking Axelrod’s daily briefings. Breaks my heart. I used to love C&L and I remember when the comments use to hit the 1000 mark on some nights…now it averages 50-60, maybe 100.
Omg. I can’t believe it. I agree with Ben Stein on something. Oh, dear.
Yup . . . best not to feed the trolls. I’m sure that Obama knows exactly what his minions are doing and approves every move. He is such a hypocrit it amazes me that more people can’t see through him.
What will they do, when Obama is sunk?
Well, in Trollop Land, this is what I think anyway, they have set up a “Rehab for Trollops”. Otherwise known as “Oprah’s Temple for Misfits”. So, when Obama falls flat on his arse, this is the sacred sign for all Trolls to pack up there troubles in there own kit bag and make why to Rehab. They will then all go through a mangle, through this huge tube and come out as sausage meat.
I MISS HILLARY
Hell, I still miss Bill.
Oh and # 11. The Democratic site owner troll as in ‘Hillary Dems for Obama’ looking to find ideas for their blog and can’t resist insulting us. Thinks they are the best writer in the world. Brags about everything and resembles the same mindset and charactersitics of Obama.
Uses guilt tripping tactics. As a desperate measure will throw in themes that Hillary is behind Obama now. Suddently likes Hillary now that she has suspended her candidacy.
I don’t know if anyone has noticed this, but it seems as though a lot of the trolls are leaving messages after most other people have moved on to a new article.
You noticed that, too eh? It’s like they wait 20 minutes or so after they’ve been spanked to show back up and act all tough. Cracks me up. Sometimes they even show up on day old diaries where they got their asses handed to them and spew comments they wish they thought of the first time around.
I would call them Graffiti Trolls.
Good one!
For them, it looks like they are winning, because no in responding. The ole last word mentality.
Absolutely! I go track them down and leave a response to their garbage. I think that is their way of keeping their little numbers up. So that they get their oblowmecash.
We ought to turn them in for cheating.
And #12. The Anarchist, Anti-Authoritarian troll.Hates Republicans and Democrats. Hates government. Mimics weatherunderground tactics. Philosophy is ‘no bombs for food’. Pits bloggers against each other. Leeches off of others in real time. Thinks that disruptivenss is as good as being at a party.
Hi Pat. Great cartoon! I am happy that you had the courage and confidence to confront the Obama trolls and to open up the discussion as to the effectiveness of what trolls do.
I have two questions.
1. Has anyone ever been convinced to vote for Obama because of the efforts of an Obama troll?
2. Have the efforts of the Obama trolls made you more or less convinced that Hillary needs to be our candidate and if not Hillary maybe McCain?
Rich
The trolls are at least 50% of the reason I won’t support Obama. There’s something wrong with a man who inspires that kind of ugliness in people.
Notice no trolls on this thread. Afraid of being labeled? Maybe, regardless of the topic, NQ should start every thread in this manner, have the real info below the fold?
they are probably spooked by there own image