Hope Specific

Many of you no doubt saw the NY Times headline: Seeing Tougher Race, Allies Ask Obama to Make ‘Hope’ Specific

It is clear that his campaign is fading fast. Ever the sport here at No Quarter, we asked noted political strategist and avid No Quarter reader Sam Copeland (a good friend of our famed cartoonist, PatRacimora) to develop the talking points to “make ‘hope’ specific.” [SusanUnPC's note: He did so, and sent it to PatRacimora.]

Our one restriction that we gave to Sam: The talking points have to be consistent with the overall current strategy of the Obama campaign.

Sam’s initial reaction to our request: “Hope is not a strategy.”

Undaunted we pressed on and pleaded with Sam to get on board the unity pony and develop the talking points for Obama. Sam — impressed with how well the last candidate who claimed to be a ‘uniter not a divider’ has worked out — relented and gave us the following sound bites and visuals to make “hope” more specific. As Sam told us, “You gotta have visuals ’cause that is the only thing the media understands.

Sound bite: “Hope is that thing with feathers”
Visual: Hundreds of white peace doves are released into the sky to symbolize hope. Obama supporters start wearing feather (instead of flag) label pins and cover their cars in feathers. (Note: I hear that tar can be used to attach feathers).

Sound bite: “Hope is a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.”
Visual: Obama walks through a field with the Washington Press Corp. to create a road that then can be used by local villagers in, say, Ohio to get their farm products to NAFTA-created international markets at below livable wage prices.

Sound bite: “Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.”
Visual: The rally hall is completely dark until a woman lights a candle. She turns and lights the candle held by the person next to her. This process repeats itself until the hall is completely bathed in light to reveal Barack Obama as the messiah. (Note: The women will love the fact that a sweetie lights the first candle; this will remove all that bad taste of so-called sexism that these women — prone to periodic outbursts — claim happened).

Sound bite: “The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.”
Visual: During the general election, Obama attacks Hillary Clinton’s health care plan as socialized medicine and offers his own health plan of hope, thereby making an important contrast that should appeal to independent voters. Besides, he doesn’t need to appeal to the core base of the Democratic party, now does he? (Note: the media will love this; they can then spend a week or so of non-stop Clinton bashing).

Sound bite: “Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.”
Visual: In a mainstream Christian church, Obama has his two daughters rechristened with the names Anger Obama and Courage Obama. They become known as the family of Hope. (Note: since it is a mainstream Christian church, this should put that whole nasty business with Rev. Wright behind us. As an added advantage, Anger Obama can be sent to campaign in Pennsylvania where she reaches out to angry gun- and faith-clutching small town Americans).

And if he really, really wants to be a winner, he should define hope as Molly Irvins once did:

Sound bite: “I still believe in Hope - mostly because there’s no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas.”
Visual: Obama announces he has resigned from the race as he raises the arm of the real fighter for the American people — Senator Hillary Clinton — and endorses her for President.

And if he refuses to do that, then we can all remember this:

Truth: “Hope is the only universal liar who never loses its reputation for veracity.”
Visual: McCain, hand on the Bible, takes the oath of the Presidency of the United States of America.